i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize