I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
