it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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