At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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