Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
