i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
