Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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