So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
