You can't motorboat a personality
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
