i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
