I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize