its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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