Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
