he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
