Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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