I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
