it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize