At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
