Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
