I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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