my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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