I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
