Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
