Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
