The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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