So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
