When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
