Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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