Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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