I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
