I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
