no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize