all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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