It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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