i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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