he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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