I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
