The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
