Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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