Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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