there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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