Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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