so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
