please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
