It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
