Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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