First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
