Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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