you would pick up someone in the library
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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