so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
