Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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