My sheets look like a crime scene.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
