just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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