I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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