just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
