My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
