Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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